Mother's Day Weekend

I want to start out this blog post with a very Happy Mother's Day out there to all the mothers. That includes mothers who struggle with infertility, mothers who have lost, mothers who have chosen to not parent, fur moms, foster moms, step moms, and of course birth moms. Mother's are a rare type of breed. Incredibly strong, courageous, and loving women. This is my second mother's day as a mom...with no child.

Last year was the first year I was aware of the day before Mother's day, known as Birth Mother's Day. It was a day that was created back in 1990 by a group of birth women in Seattle, who wanted a day to honor birth moms for their sacrificial choice. Birth Mother's Day is always the day before Mother's Day and is a day to honor, support and acknowledge the courageous, heartfelt decision that was made by the biological mother of an adopted child. Notoriously, Mother's Day is one of the toughest days of the year for a birth mom. The birthday of the child/children they placed is up there as well. It is a day where we are reminded of our decision to place our child into the arms of another woman. To take on that role as mother in our childs life. It is hard. 

The number one question I get from people is "Do you regret your decision?" My answer always is "Absolutely not." I have no regrets what so ever for what I have done for my Grace. I was not able to give her what she needed at the time she was brought into this world. A home with a mother and a father, something that I always pictured my family starting as. Knowing that there are couples out there who are not able to have children of their own and long to have just that..children to raise, I knew adoption was right for me. 

All along when I was going through my adoption process, and before I came across Ben & Wendy (Grace's adoptive parents), I had certain expectations I was looking for in couples. I wanted a two parent household, I wanted them to be a bit older (not in their 20's, I couldn't imagine placing my child with people my age and how I would feel like a complete failure) and completely established in their careers/comfortable. I wanted a loving home and of course to be driving distance from me. And most importantly I wanted a family that I knew could not have children on their own. 

To be able to help create a family and know that they are complete with your child makes me not regret my decision. Knowing Grace fits right in with her family and that she is exactly where she is meant to be. She is loved beyond measure and that is all I ever envisioned. We can never have enough people loving up on us! My open adoption plan also makes me not regret my decision. I can watch Grace grow up and she will know me. She will know her story, her medical history, and how many people love her from afar, too! I've said it before and I will say it again, I am jealous of my daughter and her life. Ha!

This Mother's Day Weekend was truly memorable. I am writing this to reflect on how amazing my weekend was and how freakin' lucky I am to have the people that I have in my life. Friday night I just had to do a hot C2 class at CorePower and sweat out the week. Saturday was a Birth Mother Brunch that I am so touched to say my beyond wonderful boyfriend, Grant, attended with me. I had gone the year prior, when it was a dinner, by myself. Most people would be shocked about that, but I'm pretty independent and isolative at times so I was truly fine! He was the only guy (I promise the year prior there actually were guys there!) and he was such a supportive trooper. The guy is pretty incredible.

On Mother's Day, I subbed a barre class that my mom attended and surprised her with flowers. We went to Penny's Coffee and enjoyed crepes and matcha. I then taught a barre class later on that afternoon, did my grocery shopping for the week, got home and took a hot shower and cuddled up with my cat. Perfection. Keeping busy is what does it for me and surrounding myself with things and people that I love.

I didn't wake up one day and think to myself "I want to be a birth mom!". No kids wish that or aspire to be a birth mom when they're younger. I definitely never imagined this being my life path, but here we are. I also never thought I would be a Barre Instructor teaching 5 permanent classes a week coming up now, when I used to be a raging alcoholic drinking myself into a blackout nightly. We do recover. We do change. We do grow. We end up on these paths that we are meant to be on. I give credit to my higher power and to myself for working so hard.

This is a weekend to look back on and smile. I am one lucky birth mom.