Socializing Sober
Hi friends!
Been awhile since I've been on here. I used my Instagram as a way to gather some information I was looking for on my upcoming "project" :) and noticed that a lot of us are needing some tools and support on how we can learn to socialize with our friends...without consuming alcohol. Now I'm not going to lie to you, it can be incredibly challenging at first. Peer pressure is still real. Sometimes your friends just don't care if you are trying to cut out alcohol to see if it helps you sleep better at night, if your stomach pains stop happening, or if you are able to lose some weight. They just want you to be drinking with them. That's it. It may be harsh to realize at first, but you could discover who some "true" friends are. If someone doesn't support you throughout anything that you choose, then I challenge you to question that friendship.
I'm also going to point out that though I myself do not consume alcohol, I do NOT by any means push people to be 100% sober for the rest of their life or shame people who do drink. No No No. I do not drink because I am an alcoholic. I cannot stop drinking once I start and I had to get help specifically to stop drinking and to develop other coping mechanisms for stress, depression, etc. There are different levels and some people are known as "sober curious". These people just want to see what living a life in sobriety truly is like, and what some of the benefits may be. They can stop and don't need treatment or help. I am here today to help those who do not have a serious problem, develop some tools so they don't feel like they always need to be consuming alcohol. If you feel like you may need more help and that you are not able to stop on your own, please reach out to myself, or someone you may trust so we can find out how to best support you. You may need residential or outpatient treatment. Or you may be able to kick it on your own with some support from AA/NA. JUST SAYIN! Let's move onto it!
When I first got sober, I left treatment mid July of 2017. It was summer and all I correlated summer with was drinking. I needed to drink on a boat, at the lake, at that summer night concert, on the patio's, seriously it didn't matter where, my excuse was just to consume alcohol wherever I could be in the sun. How would I be able to manage this new way of life? Well first off. I absolutely dreaded getting my phone back once I discharged from treatment. I knew I would have access to social media and feel the FOMO creeping in when I would see friends Snapchat stories, Instagram stories, and Facebook posts of people out on the lake, or on a pedal pub, or at a Twins game all with alcohol in their hand. I was able to survive 34 days at inpatient treatment without a phone and all of that pressure, it was honestly the worst part of being out. I'm sure a lot of people are like "NO WAY! I could NOT be away from my phone and social media for that long!!!" Well, when you're forced to it's different, but it's also lovely when no one else is glued to their phone and you are able to have open conversations, making EYE CONTACT, with other human beings. People talked and really got to know one another, and no one was able to sit and take selfies in a corner. It was lovely.
So the first thing that I noticed were those who reached out to me and expressed meeting up to catch up and hear how I was doing post treatment. I think I honestly weirded out a lot of people because they didn't know how to "handle me" sober. When you're friends with someone for so long and all they do is revolve their life around drinking, and now don't, it can be kind of awkward. Thank God I have some true blue friends that stuck by me the whole way. I did weed out a lot of others though, the ones that I just drank with. Yeah, haven't heard from them at all. I noticed initially feeling very lonely. I feel like I didn't fit in with anyone nor had anything in common. What I discovered was that I needed to create a new life for myself. I needed to develop hobbies and passions. I needed something to do on weekend mornings besides being hungover and sleeping all day, or just starting to drink again. Alcohol took up ALL of my time, so now I had ALL of this empty time to fill. I had to give myself grace because this all takes time to create a new life.
After a few months of a lot of tears and feeling alone, (keep in mind I was also pregnant during this time so was also physically fucking exhausted 24/7 and super hormonal) I had baby Grace, and waited the 6 weeks per doctors orders to start physically moving, and then started attending barre classes at YogaFit with my mom. I began to love to physically move my body and taking care of myself. I would go to multiple classes a day, just about everyday. I was hooked. Fast forward 6 months ahead and I signed up for the Barre Teacher Training. The rest is history.
So in the meantime, while I started to develop healthier habits, passions and goals, I found more people who were interested in the same things! You really do have to change a lot of your life when you get sober and I will tell you I'm not the same person I was 3+ years ago and I'm so much happier for that. You know when they say that you act and talk like the people you surround yourself with or a boyfriend you're dating?? It's true. If you then surround yourself with people who want to be doing the same things as you on a Saturday morning, it will happen.
How to handle social situations then??:
-Well my story is a bit easier, because most people knew I went to treatment and could NOT drink. I know people who are comfortable with being honest with those when they go out that they will NOT be drinking that night. And you have to hold yourself accountable to that. I also know people who are NOT comfortable with exposing something like that. Well you fake it till you make it, babe. Though, I'm a fan for honesty I can understand, some are not ready for the questions and added pressure. I get it. Here are a few ideas:
1. Have a plan!
I would always drive myself when I was newly sober. I wanted a getaway car, and didn't want to be stuck somewhere when it would start to get to that point where people are a bit too drunk and I had to wait for a ride. You could also tell people you have "plans" really early. That could be true or not. Who gives a shit. But always, always have a plan and be prepared.
2. Pack your own NA beverage (NA=Non alcoholic)!
Once again, you've got to be prepared. If you plan on relying on your friends, who are all drinking, to have a good NA options for you, you will likely end up drinking plain old water. Or just starting to drink alcohol with them. You have to make it fun for yourself! Set yourself up for success.
3. Put your fun mocktail in a fun glass!
I mentioned this, but use a wine glass! Who cares! Make a fun little mocktail and put it in a wine glass, half the time people won't even notice that you aren't drinking.
4. If you feel pressured at all, have the balls to say "NO!".
Seriously, people can be too much and rude at times, especially once they start drinking a bit more. You really have to hold your ground and those boundaries. Follow through with your word. You will feel more confident and stronger.
5. Maybe just don't go.
I've had a few nights where I've ended up sobbing in the bathroom, because I felt so out of place and so pressured to be drinking. This was early on in my days of trying to abstain. I definitely wouldn't put myself in a predicament like that now, but it was awful. Just don't even put yourself in those situations if you know a certain person will be there who doesn't leave you alone about your choices.
6. Be honest.
Telling people straight up might be your way. You can tell people "Here's the deal, I'm not drinking tonight, I want to feel good for this new yoga class I'm taking in the morning", etc. Doesn't matter! Maybe you want to grab a coffee & head to the farmers market and not feel like shit and lay in bed until 2pm the next day. That's OK to be REAL! Everyone knows what the next day is like after drinking, so being honest with how you DON'T want to feel is that much more powerful!
7. Bring kids.
This sounds weird, but if you babysit or have a cute niece or nephew (and it's an appropriate setting for children) bring them! Knowing you have to keep an eye on a child and drive them home later is enough accountability and people definitely can't question that. Like I said, this one can't be used as often as we have to make sure they are appropriate settings for our young friends.
How do you truly feel when you abstain from alcohol???:
FUCKING AMAZING. I could talk about this all day.
I think the #1 thing I noticed was my energy levels. I didn't spend my days wasted away in bed eating greasy cheeseburgers to feel better. I wake up early (never thought I would see the day again) and get shit done all day long. And I love to move my body! That was not happening towards the end of my drinking career. The only movement I did was move from my couch to the kitchen to get more wine. Gross.
-You'll notice a glow in your skin.
Ok so I of course got sober at a really fun time where my body had to compete against each other. I was growing a baby and had that baby glow, but also newly abstaining from alcohol so had a glow from that as well. When my counselor in treatment would check in with me and ask how I was feeling and I would tell her, I was seriously all over the place. I couldn't tell if what I was feeling was due to detoxing the alcohol out of my body, or was it the new anti depressant I was placed on, or was it because I WAS GROWING A HUMAN INSIDE OF MYSELF?!?! My body probably gave me the middle finger for all it was going through. My emotions were all over the place (that poor counselor) but at least I glowed!
-You will have normal bowel movements.
This might be TMI for some people but my stomach was out of control when I was drinking all the time. You know when you crap or puke out your LIFE the next morning after drinking??? Yeah I don't have that anymore. I used to have diarrhea every. damn. day. I'm not even exaggerating. And I had to carry Imodium on me in my purse for those random stomach pains when I couldn't be in the comfort of my own home. I thought I might have had Chrohn's Disease or IBS. Seriously. I stopped drinking and BAM. Normal poops. Now I feed myself vegetables, fiber and LOTS of protein rather than alcohol for dinner.
-Your anxiety and depression will decrease
-I had a perma cloud over my head the last few years of my drinking career. I was so damn depressed from consuming this depressant everyday. I could hardly smile, it actually hurt and annoyed me to. My anxiety was a level 10 always. I was clammy, anxious and had a pit in my stomach all the time. I would say at the end it was the depression over my anxiety, but anxiety was HUGE throughout all of my drinking. We are being told that alcohol relaxes us, right? It calms us down. It's how we unwind after a long day. Well hate to break it to ya, but it's actually doing the opposite for you! I am 384384539x more calm and relaxed than I was while I was drinking. Shockingly enough, we have to FEEL those feelings rather than numb them. They will never go away. Majority of folks who quit drinking, notice the anxiety and depression cloud lift away. I can still remember the day in treatment, after a few weeks, when I finally SMILED and it didn't feel like a chore! It was natural, meaningful, and real! I ran to my counselors office and said "I SMILED!".
-You'll sleep like a BABY!
I'm someone that's never really had a problem with sleeping. When my head hits the pillow it doesn't take too long for me to drift off to sleep. I can also stay asleep and don't have to get up 50x a night. I'm lucky. Because of this I never realized how shitty of sleep I was getting when I was drinking. See, when you drink and pass out you think that you're getting good sleep, right? Wrong. Your body actually never makes it to the REM stage of sleep when you pass out drunk. That's the crucial part of your sleep. So you know those days after a night of drinking where you drowsy & lack concentration? It's because you didn't make it to your REM sleep and you were robbed of some nightly Z's. I used to pass out nightly from drinking (and thought it was okay because alcohol was almost like a sleep suppressant), but I would pass out with a wine glass in my hand that would spill all over myself. Every light was on in the apartment and the TV was still blaring. I was awkwardly positioned in my large chair with my neck crooked, there's no way I was getting good sleep.
-You'll develop more confidence.
I always felt like a somewhat confident person growing up. Sure, middle school and high school bullies depleted that at times, but overall I didn't have much of a problem. Once I started drinking heavily, that all went away. It was like alcohol is this "friend" of yours that tells you all these bad things about yourself and you believe it. It tells you to dance when you're blacked out (so you look like an idiot), it tells you to text that guy you like 98 times (so he'll never talk to you again), it tells you to pick a fight with your friends because they want to get you home safely (and make you look like an asshole to them), it tells you to drink more and more so you'll feel confident walking into that party or bar where that cute guy from your Psychology class is at. (so you end up stumbling in and not being able to hold a conversation). You don't need alcohol for any of that. I know SO many people who drink way too much before going out because they "can't be sober when they get there." I get it. That was me too. I'll tell you it's very liberating not having to rely on alcohol for that sort of "fun" anymore. It's all me baby and no liquid courage! I am so much more confident and stronger now that I handle everything on my own.
-Your liver will thank you.
The liver is an amazing organ. If you lighten up the drinking load on it even just a small amount, it can work on repairing itself rather quickly. I deep down had a feeling I was starting to do some damage to my insides and I feared I would become a diabetic from drinking or become diagnosed with breast cancer (highly correlated with drinking in women). Well, I was right. When I was pregnant and went to my first check up they had some labs done. The lab that was directly related to my liver was of course out of whack. She said abstaining will greatly help that, and it did. Almost 2 years later my labs all look perfectly OK.
-You may lose some weight! But you will definitely become less bloated.
I hate to say to people, yeah you're definitely going to lose 25 pounds if you take out alcohol. It happens for some, it doesn't happen for others. Mainly because a lot of people switch over to sweets when they stop drinking. (yes, it's true your tastebuds change and you can't leave the sweets alone). So, if you're planning on taking a month off from drinking, start working out more and watch what you eat! You WILL notice a difference. The scale may not tell it all to you, but you will feel it in your clothes. They won't fit as tightly around the waist and you will see it in your face! I didn't realize how puffy I looked all the time until I got sober and looked back on all those pictures.
Now there are more and more things I could dive into. Your relationships will improve, your heart will also thank you (lowers the risk for cardiovascular disease), your brain will notice an improvement with memory, and on and on and on. There is SO much that alcohol does to your body that just cutting it out for a period of time, you will really notice the changes. As I always say, my before and after pics tell it all.
So what do I drink when I go out??
Well check the mocktail menu!!!! The cool thing that's been happening in the service industry lately is that they are making an effort to those who do not consume alcohol to feel included. The mocktail menus are on POINT lately. Now, not every restaurant is there yet and be prepared for that. My fall back is always a sparkling water with a lime if there is nothing else. Last summer, Grant and I were out on a walk and stopped by a restaurant for a patio drink. He wanted a beer and I of course wanted to look at their mocktail menu. They didn't have one. Okay, so I decided to ASK (that's the next best thing). Well we of course had this young server that had no idea what I was talking about. My options were an NA beer (I personally don't drink those as it tastes too close to home like a regular beer) and a NA Bloody Mary. Seriously?? Sorry but sipping on thick tomato juice on a hot summer night just doesn't sound refreshing to me. I just said no thank you. Now, that was last summer, Minneapolis has come a long ways since then!
When you're at home or going to a friends gathering, my main drink is kombucha. I love love kombucha. Now, I'm going to address it now but I get "well doesn't kombucha have alcohol in it??" It's fermented. So yes, there is a small amount but it's like an NA beer, too small. The fact that you can buy kombucha literally anywhere in the middle of the day without an ID says one thing. It's also KNOWN for its health benefits, probiotics anyone?? AND I always tell people, well I will stop drinking it once I'm buying out case after case after case of kombucha because I'm searching for that buzz I'm trying to get. Seriously though, if I was getting any sort of buzz from one I wouldn't be able to stop. People would see me slamming down kombucha after kombucha and that's clearly not the case.
So kombucha has a TON of brands and flavors. Pour it into a wine glass and there ya go! My favorite thing to do at Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, Target, and Lunds is to go to their beverage cooler and look at all the fun drinks they have. My big hit right now is the Sparkling Green Tea from Trader Joe's.
-Cranberry juice with sparkling water and a lime was another big one I would drink when I first got sober! Refreshing on a summer day.
Another go to drink that I like to have is Shrub. A lot of people are not sure what this is but I discovered it two summers ago at a farmers market. It's apple cider vinegar with different flavors. Sounds disgusting! But it's SO good! You mix it with some sparkling water and BAM! Refreshing mocktail. There are a few local brands here in Minneapolis, I typically buy from Calvit's Shrubs (look him up on Instagram). Some flavors are "Ginger/Lemongrass", "Beet/Ginger", "Tomatillo Tamarind", "Thai Basil", "Cranberry Rosemary". So good and so refreshing. One summer he had a rhubarb flavor, and he used the rhubarb from his neighbors yard. Local love!
Typically during work I'll start with my coffee and a glass of ice water. I will put a few cap fills of aloe in my water (makes it soo good and it's great for digestion!). I get my aloe through Herbalife and have been doing that for over 2 years now. I then typically move on to my tea and liftoff (through Herbalife again) as it gives me a good boost after lunch and throughout that afternoon slump we all suffer from. It is SO good and gives me energy, that's a huge go to for me throughout hot summer days too! I only have my 1-2 cups of coffee and that's it, thanks to the liftoff. I know this can be tricky as Herbalife you have to go through a distributor, but reach out if you have questions! (Not trying to be pushy, it just ACTUALLY works for me!) Or make your way to a shake shop and try one yourself. DM me for questions.
I'm going to put together a more specific list of mocktails if people are interested. There is just SO much you can do. Basically any good drink that you are used to having, minus the alcohol! Let me know your thoughts or if you want more from this.
As always, reach out if you are struggling and need some support. I have been there and I get it. No judgment, no shame, nothing. Take care my friends!
Been awhile since I've been on here. I used my Instagram as a way to gather some information I was looking for on my upcoming "project" :) and noticed that a lot of us are needing some tools and support on how we can learn to socialize with our friends...without consuming alcohol. Now I'm not going to lie to you, it can be incredibly challenging at first. Peer pressure is still real. Sometimes your friends just don't care if you are trying to cut out alcohol to see if it helps you sleep better at night, if your stomach pains stop happening, or if you are able to lose some weight. They just want you to be drinking with them. That's it. It may be harsh to realize at first, but you could discover who some "true" friends are. If someone doesn't support you throughout anything that you choose, then I challenge you to question that friendship.
I'm also going to point out that though I myself do not consume alcohol, I do NOT by any means push people to be 100% sober for the rest of their life or shame people who do drink. No No No. I do not drink because I am an alcoholic. I cannot stop drinking once I start and I had to get help specifically to stop drinking and to develop other coping mechanisms for stress, depression, etc. There are different levels and some people are known as "sober curious". These people just want to see what living a life in sobriety truly is like, and what some of the benefits may be. They can stop and don't need treatment or help. I am here today to help those who do not have a serious problem, develop some tools so they don't feel like they always need to be consuming alcohol. If you feel like you may need more help and that you are not able to stop on your own, please reach out to myself, or someone you may trust so we can find out how to best support you. You may need residential or outpatient treatment. Or you may be able to kick it on your own with some support from AA/NA. JUST SAYIN! Let's move onto it!
When I first got sober, I left treatment mid July of 2017. It was summer and all I correlated summer with was drinking. I needed to drink on a boat, at the lake, at that summer night concert, on the patio's, seriously it didn't matter where, my excuse was just to consume alcohol wherever I could be in the sun. How would I be able to manage this new way of life? Well first off. I absolutely dreaded getting my phone back once I discharged from treatment. I knew I would have access to social media and feel the FOMO creeping in when I would see friends Snapchat stories, Instagram stories, and Facebook posts of people out on the lake, or on a pedal pub, or at a Twins game all with alcohol in their hand. I was able to survive 34 days at inpatient treatment without a phone and all of that pressure, it was honestly the worst part of being out. I'm sure a lot of people are like "NO WAY! I could NOT be away from my phone and social media for that long!!!" Well, when you're forced to it's different, but it's also lovely when no one else is glued to their phone and you are able to have open conversations, making EYE CONTACT, with other human beings. People talked and really got to know one another, and no one was able to sit and take selfies in a corner. It was lovely.
So the first thing that I noticed were those who reached out to me and expressed meeting up to catch up and hear how I was doing post treatment. I think I honestly weirded out a lot of people because they didn't know how to "handle me" sober. When you're friends with someone for so long and all they do is revolve their life around drinking, and now don't, it can be kind of awkward. Thank God I have some true blue friends that stuck by me the whole way. I did weed out a lot of others though, the ones that I just drank with. Yeah, haven't heard from them at all. I noticed initially feeling very lonely. I feel like I didn't fit in with anyone nor had anything in common. What I discovered was that I needed to create a new life for myself. I needed to develop hobbies and passions. I needed something to do on weekend mornings besides being hungover and sleeping all day, or just starting to drink again. Alcohol took up ALL of my time, so now I had ALL of this empty time to fill. I had to give myself grace because this all takes time to create a new life.
After a few months of a lot of tears and feeling alone, (keep in mind I was also pregnant during this time so was also physically fucking exhausted 24/7 and super hormonal) I had baby Grace, and waited the 6 weeks per doctors orders to start physically moving, and then started attending barre classes at YogaFit with my mom. I began to love to physically move my body and taking care of myself. I would go to multiple classes a day, just about everyday. I was hooked. Fast forward 6 months ahead and I signed up for the Barre Teacher Training. The rest is history.
So in the meantime, while I started to develop healthier habits, passions and goals, I found more people who were interested in the same things! You really do have to change a lot of your life when you get sober and I will tell you I'm not the same person I was 3+ years ago and I'm so much happier for that. You know when they say that you act and talk like the people you surround yourself with or a boyfriend you're dating?? It's true. If you then surround yourself with people who want to be doing the same things as you on a Saturday morning, it will happen.
How to handle social situations then??:
-Well my story is a bit easier, because most people knew I went to treatment and could NOT drink. I know people who are comfortable with being honest with those when they go out that they will NOT be drinking that night. And you have to hold yourself accountable to that. I also know people who are NOT comfortable with exposing something like that. Well you fake it till you make it, babe. Though, I'm a fan for honesty I can understand, some are not ready for the questions and added pressure. I get it. Here are a few ideas:
1. Have a plan!
I would always drive myself when I was newly sober. I wanted a getaway car, and didn't want to be stuck somewhere when it would start to get to that point where people are a bit too drunk and I had to wait for a ride. You could also tell people you have "plans" really early. That could be true or not. Who gives a shit. But always, always have a plan and be prepared.
2. Pack your own NA beverage (NA=Non alcoholic)!
Once again, you've got to be prepared. If you plan on relying on your friends, who are all drinking, to have a good NA options for you, you will likely end up drinking plain old water. Or just starting to drink alcohol with them. You have to make it fun for yourself! Set yourself up for success.
3. Put your fun mocktail in a fun glass!
I mentioned this, but use a wine glass! Who cares! Make a fun little mocktail and put it in a wine glass, half the time people won't even notice that you aren't drinking.
4. If you feel pressured at all, have the balls to say "NO!".
Seriously, people can be too much and rude at times, especially once they start drinking a bit more. You really have to hold your ground and those boundaries. Follow through with your word. You will feel more confident and stronger.
5. Maybe just don't go.
I've had a few nights where I've ended up sobbing in the bathroom, because I felt so out of place and so pressured to be drinking. This was early on in my days of trying to abstain. I definitely wouldn't put myself in a predicament like that now, but it was awful. Just don't even put yourself in those situations if you know a certain person will be there who doesn't leave you alone about your choices.
6. Be honest.
Telling people straight up might be your way. You can tell people "Here's the deal, I'm not drinking tonight, I want to feel good for this new yoga class I'm taking in the morning", etc. Doesn't matter! Maybe you want to grab a coffee & head to the farmers market and not feel like shit and lay in bed until 2pm the next day. That's OK to be REAL! Everyone knows what the next day is like after drinking, so being honest with how you DON'T want to feel is that much more powerful!
7. Bring kids.
This sounds weird, but if you babysit or have a cute niece or nephew (and it's an appropriate setting for children) bring them! Knowing you have to keep an eye on a child and drive them home later is enough accountability and people definitely can't question that. Like I said, this one can't be used as often as we have to make sure they are appropriate settings for our young friends.
How do you truly feel when you abstain from alcohol???:
FUCKING AMAZING. I could talk about this all day.
I think the #1 thing I noticed was my energy levels. I didn't spend my days wasted away in bed eating greasy cheeseburgers to feel better. I wake up early (never thought I would see the day again) and get shit done all day long. And I love to move my body! That was not happening towards the end of my drinking career. The only movement I did was move from my couch to the kitchen to get more wine. Gross.
-You'll notice a glow in your skin.
Ok so I of course got sober at a really fun time where my body had to compete against each other. I was growing a baby and had that baby glow, but also newly abstaining from alcohol so had a glow from that as well. When my counselor in treatment would check in with me and ask how I was feeling and I would tell her, I was seriously all over the place. I couldn't tell if what I was feeling was due to detoxing the alcohol out of my body, or was it the new anti depressant I was placed on, or was it because I WAS GROWING A HUMAN INSIDE OF MYSELF?!?! My body probably gave me the middle finger for all it was going through. My emotions were all over the place (that poor counselor) but at least I glowed!
-You will have normal bowel movements.
This might be TMI for some people but my stomach was out of control when I was drinking all the time. You know when you crap or puke out your LIFE the next morning after drinking??? Yeah I don't have that anymore. I used to have diarrhea every. damn. day. I'm not even exaggerating. And I had to carry Imodium on me in my purse for those random stomach pains when I couldn't be in the comfort of my own home. I thought I might have had Chrohn's Disease or IBS. Seriously. I stopped drinking and BAM. Normal poops. Now I feed myself vegetables, fiber and LOTS of protein rather than alcohol for dinner.
-Your anxiety and depression will decrease
-I had a perma cloud over my head the last few years of my drinking career. I was so damn depressed from consuming this depressant everyday. I could hardly smile, it actually hurt and annoyed me to. My anxiety was a level 10 always. I was clammy, anxious and had a pit in my stomach all the time. I would say at the end it was the depression over my anxiety, but anxiety was HUGE throughout all of my drinking. We are being told that alcohol relaxes us, right? It calms us down. It's how we unwind after a long day. Well hate to break it to ya, but it's actually doing the opposite for you! I am 384384539x more calm and relaxed than I was while I was drinking. Shockingly enough, we have to FEEL those feelings rather than numb them. They will never go away. Majority of folks who quit drinking, notice the anxiety and depression cloud lift away. I can still remember the day in treatment, after a few weeks, when I finally SMILED and it didn't feel like a chore! It was natural, meaningful, and real! I ran to my counselors office and said "I SMILED!".
-You'll sleep like a BABY!
I'm someone that's never really had a problem with sleeping. When my head hits the pillow it doesn't take too long for me to drift off to sleep. I can also stay asleep and don't have to get up 50x a night. I'm lucky. Because of this I never realized how shitty of sleep I was getting when I was drinking. See, when you drink and pass out you think that you're getting good sleep, right? Wrong. Your body actually never makes it to the REM stage of sleep when you pass out drunk. That's the crucial part of your sleep. So you know those days after a night of drinking where you drowsy & lack concentration? It's because you didn't make it to your REM sleep and you were robbed of some nightly Z's. I used to pass out nightly from drinking (and thought it was okay because alcohol was almost like a sleep suppressant), but I would pass out with a wine glass in my hand that would spill all over myself. Every light was on in the apartment and the TV was still blaring. I was awkwardly positioned in my large chair with my neck crooked, there's no way I was getting good sleep.
-You'll develop more confidence.
I always felt like a somewhat confident person growing up. Sure, middle school and high school bullies depleted that at times, but overall I didn't have much of a problem. Once I started drinking heavily, that all went away. It was like alcohol is this "friend" of yours that tells you all these bad things about yourself and you believe it. It tells you to dance when you're blacked out (so you look like an idiot), it tells you to text that guy you like 98 times (so he'll never talk to you again), it tells you to pick a fight with your friends because they want to get you home safely (and make you look like an asshole to them), it tells you to drink more and more so you'll feel confident walking into that party or bar where that cute guy from your Psychology class is at. (so you end up stumbling in and not being able to hold a conversation). You don't need alcohol for any of that. I know SO many people who drink way too much before going out because they "can't be sober when they get there." I get it. That was me too. I'll tell you it's very liberating not having to rely on alcohol for that sort of "fun" anymore. It's all me baby and no liquid courage! I am so much more confident and stronger now that I handle everything on my own.
-Your liver will thank you.
The liver is an amazing organ. If you lighten up the drinking load on it even just a small amount, it can work on repairing itself rather quickly. I deep down had a feeling I was starting to do some damage to my insides and I feared I would become a diabetic from drinking or become diagnosed with breast cancer (highly correlated with drinking in women). Well, I was right. When I was pregnant and went to my first check up they had some labs done. The lab that was directly related to my liver was of course out of whack. She said abstaining will greatly help that, and it did. Almost 2 years later my labs all look perfectly OK.
-You may lose some weight! But you will definitely become less bloated.
I hate to say to people, yeah you're definitely going to lose 25 pounds if you take out alcohol. It happens for some, it doesn't happen for others. Mainly because a lot of people switch over to sweets when they stop drinking. (yes, it's true your tastebuds change and you can't leave the sweets alone). So, if you're planning on taking a month off from drinking, start working out more and watch what you eat! You WILL notice a difference. The scale may not tell it all to you, but you will feel it in your clothes. They won't fit as tightly around the waist and you will see it in your face! I didn't realize how puffy I looked all the time until I got sober and looked back on all those pictures.
Now there are more and more things I could dive into. Your relationships will improve, your heart will also thank you (lowers the risk for cardiovascular disease), your brain will notice an improvement with memory, and on and on and on. There is SO much that alcohol does to your body that just cutting it out for a period of time, you will really notice the changes. As I always say, my before and after pics tell it all.
So what do I drink when I go out??
Well check the mocktail menu!!!! The cool thing that's been happening in the service industry lately is that they are making an effort to those who do not consume alcohol to feel included. The mocktail menus are on POINT lately. Now, not every restaurant is there yet and be prepared for that. My fall back is always a sparkling water with a lime if there is nothing else. Last summer, Grant and I were out on a walk and stopped by a restaurant for a patio drink. He wanted a beer and I of course wanted to look at their mocktail menu. They didn't have one. Okay, so I decided to ASK (that's the next best thing). Well we of course had this young server that had no idea what I was talking about. My options were an NA beer (I personally don't drink those as it tastes too close to home like a regular beer) and a NA Bloody Mary. Seriously?? Sorry but sipping on thick tomato juice on a hot summer night just doesn't sound refreshing to me. I just said no thank you. Now, that was last summer, Minneapolis has come a long ways since then!
When you're at home or going to a friends gathering, my main drink is kombucha. I love love kombucha. Now, I'm going to address it now but I get "well doesn't kombucha have alcohol in it??" It's fermented. So yes, there is a small amount but it's like an NA beer, too small. The fact that you can buy kombucha literally anywhere in the middle of the day without an ID says one thing. It's also KNOWN for its health benefits, probiotics anyone?? AND I always tell people, well I will stop drinking it once I'm buying out case after case after case of kombucha because I'm searching for that buzz I'm trying to get. Seriously though, if I was getting any sort of buzz from one I wouldn't be able to stop. People would see me slamming down kombucha after kombucha and that's clearly not the case.
So kombucha has a TON of brands and flavors. Pour it into a wine glass and there ya go! My favorite thing to do at Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, Target, and Lunds is to go to their beverage cooler and look at all the fun drinks they have. My big hit right now is the Sparkling Green Tea from Trader Joe's.
-Cranberry juice with sparkling water and a lime was another big one I would drink when I first got sober! Refreshing on a summer day.
Another go to drink that I like to have is Shrub. A lot of people are not sure what this is but I discovered it two summers ago at a farmers market. It's apple cider vinegar with different flavors. Sounds disgusting! But it's SO good! You mix it with some sparkling water and BAM! Refreshing mocktail. There are a few local brands here in Minneapolis, I typically buy from Calvit's Shrubs (look him up on Instagram). Some flavors are "Ginger/Lemongrass", "Beet/Ginger", "Tomatillo Tamarind", "Thai Basil", "Cranberry Rosemary". So good and so refreshing. One summer he had a rhubarb flavor, and he used the rhubarb from his neighbors yard. Local love!
Typically during work I'll start with my coffee and a glass of ice water. I will put a few cap fills of aloe in my water (makes it soo good and it's great for digestion!). I get my aloe through Herbalife and have been doing that for over 2 years now. I then typically move on to my tea and liftoff (through Herbalife again) as it gives me a good boost after lunch and throughout that afternoon slump we all suffer from. It is SO good and gives me energy, that's a huge go to for me throughout hot summer days too! I only have my 1-2 cups of coffee and that's it, thanks to the liftoff. I know this can be tricky as Herbalife you have to go through a distributor, but reach out if you have questions! (Not trying to be pushy, it just ACTUALLY works for me!) Or make your way to a shake shop and try one yourself. DM me for questions.
I'm going to put together a more specific list of mocktails if people are interested. There is just SO much you can do. Basically any good drink that you are used to having, minus the alcohol! Let me know your thoughts or if you want more from this.
As always, reach out if you are struggling and need some support. I have been there and I get it. No judgment, no shame, nothing. Take care my friends!
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